The Tracker's Journal: Reconsidering "Faux Feelings" — I'd Like Your Input

A few weeks ago, I wrote about reframing "faux feelings." A thoughtful reader had pushed back on the term, pointing out that calling some feelings "faux" implied they weren't real. I agreed with her critique but kept the term, arguing that what makes them "faux" is linguistic, not experiential. The experience is real. The word choice determines where attention goes.

I thought I'd solved the problem.

But the term kept drawing questions. Several readers have wondered about it, mused out loud about the implications. Then an NVC trainer I respect put it plainly: "'Faux' means fake in French. It's a way that the idea of wrongness has been smuggled into the language."

That landed. No matter how carefully I define it, the word itself works against my reframing. Every time someone sees "faux," their brain registers "fake." I'm asking readers to override the word's plain meaning with my definition. That may be a losing battle.

So I've been considering alternatives.

The Candidates

Here are some of the terms I've considered:

Interpretive feelings — Accurate. Neutral. But clinical and academic. It sounds like a textbook.

Judgment-based feelings — Names what's happening. But "judgment" carries its own NVC baggage. It sounds like something to avoid.

Evaluative feelings — Similar problem. Too clinical, and "evaluative" feels like a test.

Finger-pointing feelings — Vivid and memorable. And there's wisdom in the old saying: when you point a finger at someone, three fingers point back at you. That actually captures something important. These feelings can point outward, toward what someone did, or inward, toward who you believe you are. But the term itself only sounds like it's about blaming others. The inward direction gets lost.

Story feelings — This is where I'm leaning.

Why "Story Feelings" Works

In the book, I draw on Damasio's distinction between emotion and feeling. Emotions are the body's rapid, largely automatic response to stimuli. Feelings are the conscious, subjective experience that follows. As Lewis, Amini, and Lannon put it, feelings are "the subjective experience of emotional states." Feelings are what we experience once the mind begins to make meaning.

A story feeling, then, is a feeling that carries extra meaning: a narrative about cause. Most story feelings point outward, toward what someone else did: "I feel disrespected," "I feel controlled," "I feel betrayed." Some point inward, toward who you believe you are: "I feel worthless," "I feel stupid," "I feel like a failure."

The experience behind both is real. The word choice determines where attention goes, and where the tracking leads.

The term also connects directly to the chapter where this concept appears: "The Stories We Tell." And crucially, "story" doesn't mean "lie." A story is a way of organizing experience. It can be useful or limiting, accurate or distorted, but it's not inherently fake.

Story feelings aren't the enemy. They are clues, tracks on the trail that point toward something worth exploring.

Where I'm At

Unless I hear extremely strong pushback, I'm inclined to make this change throughout the manuscript. But before I do, I'd like your input.

Does "story feelings" land for you? Does it capture the concept without implying that the experience isn't real? Is there another term I haven't considered that works better?

I'm genuinely asking. One of the gifts of this process has been discovering that readers see things I miss. The shift from defending "faux feelings" to questioning the term entirely came from you. The next step might too.

Hit reply and let me know what you think.