A conversation with Alice Shikina of Negotiation with Alice
Alice Shikina is a mediator, negotiation coach, and founder of Shikina Negotiation Academy. Drawing on her experience mediating disputes and coaching individuals through challenging negotiations, she helps people develop the confidence and practical skills to advocate for themselves, navigate difficult conversations, and reach more satisfying agreements. Her podcast, Negotiation with Alice, explores the human and practical dimensions of negotiation.
When Our Triggers Enter the Negotiating Room
We often think of negotiation as a process of preparation, strategy, and communication. But what happens when our emotions enter the picture?
In this conversation with Alice Shikina, I explore the relationship between emotional triggers and negotiation, drawing on the ideas in my book Tracking Triggers: From Reactivity to Responsiveness.
As mediators, we know that even well-prepared negotiators can find themselves reacting defensively, making assumptions about another person's intentions, or struggling to listen when something important feels threatened.
The challenge isn't simply to control those reactions. It's to recognize what they may be telling us.
Our triggers can point toward feelings, needs, and values that deserve our attention. When we learn to recognize and regulate our reactions, we create space to understand what's happening within us before deciding how to respond.
That awareness can change the quality of a negotiation. Instead of being driven by the immediate emotional charge of the moment, we can become more deliberate about what we say, how we listen, and what we hope to accomplish.
At the heart of our conversation is a question relevant to anyone navigating conflict: How can we remain connected to what matters to us without allowing our triggers to determine how we respond?